Commentary: Addicted to love?

Listen to this article

The new, fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, published by the American Psychiatric Association, was released recently.

DSM V redefines and essentially denies prior classifications or diagnoses regarding various forms of autism. It also states that what used to be spoiled little brats’ temper tantrums are now actually an uncontrollable disease process.

That ought to do wonders for parenting.

I think we are about to hear of a newly discovered diagnosis of tickle your congressional aides addiction. We’ve got addictions to video games, television, eating and many other common, everyday activities that used to be considered controllable by the personality. Now they’re being characterized as though each is a psychological malady over which the poor, newly discovered “victim” has no control.

The easily anticipated latest trend is to say “if I got caught — I’m addicted!”

Tiger has taught us that in a most elucidating fashion. I used to think that when I gained too much weight it was because I did not control my eating, or didn’t exercise enough. I’m so relieved to know that I’m really addicted to food. Perhaps the new book calls it “dismetabolismization.”

After Tiger’s exposé, I guess every man in America now has the right to do whatever he wants to sexually, because obviously this newly acquired recognition that we merely could be “sex addicts” certainly takes a load off of our minds, not to mention other body parts.

I’m certain our wives will understand that we just couldn’t help ourselves. Flip Wilson used to use the phrase “The devil made me do it!” He was really ahead of his time.

Of course, nowadays, some people don’t believe in the devil, so the real answer is “the addiction made me do it!”

What a relief.

My wife just reminded me now that we’ve got addictions to shopping, chocolate addiction, IE — don’t forget the newly coined words chocoholics, shopaholics and workaholics. (O.K., I’m an addict to that last one).

The federal government appears to be addicted to growing, and to spending. Of course, the federal government also is addicted to taxing.

Toyota is addicted to accelerating. Politicians seem addicted to Argentina, leaving inexplicably, then lying about it. Perhaps I should amend that to “they are just addicted to lying.”

People used to be required to control how much they ate or exercised, or society would judge them on the results. It used to be that husbands — and presumably wives as well — had a responsibility to control their sexual urges, or at least inform their spouses if they decided not to exercise such control.

Do newlyweds suffer cold turkey, lying in bed shivering as they face withdrawal from their sexual addictions the day after they become faithful?

I just struggled to lose 10 pounds. I wish I’d known I didn’t have to do that, because instead I could have just gone around explaining to myself and those around me that I suffer an addiction to food. Part of the reason I gained weight was because of the fact that I was virtually worthless for six months after

I injured my shoulder and had some serious surgery involving screws and some procedures I’d rather not think about again.

I really was addicted to that bicep, and I’m still going through withdrawal. For many months I took enormous amounts of painkillers, and stopping was not easy.

I also know there are real addictions in life, and I don’t mean to disparage those who suffer from them.

I was, however, surprised to learn that although Rush Limbaugh was so adamant that people who abuse drugs deserve hard jail time, when he was caught later convincing others to illegally get baggies full of drugs for him, apparently it all should have gone away when he realized he was addicted. What a bunch of crap.

Here’s the way that played out in headlines, which were not easy to reconcile.

• Drug guy not on the radio is sentenced to 25 years in prison after cooperating with the U.S. federal government;
• Not our boy with the golden arm — er — voice. No, actually that article stated: Radio talk-show host Rush Limbaugh was booked on drug charges in Florida on Friday, and his lawyer said that Limbaugh had agreed to a deal enabling him to avoid prosecution in the prescription abuse case if he continued treatment for addiction problems and avoided any other run-ins with the law.

That was on the day he was booked!

The warrant was for fraud to conceal information to obtain prescriptions. I guess he was addicted to fraud, too, but that’s been apparent for years.

I’m addicted to writing, and it appears you’re addicted to reading. Thank you.

Robert L. Brenna Jr. is a partner in the Rochester law firm of Brenna, Brenna & Boyce PLLC, which his father founded. He is the immediate past president of the New York State Academy of Trial Lawyers and hosts a Sunday morning radio program, “The Brenna & Brenna Law Forum,” on WHAM 1180 AM at 8 a.m., online at www.wham1180.com.